Courage: Bay getting personal.

Bay here. Yesterday was my last day teaching at the Missionary Training Center. I have had the opportunity of teaching Sister Missionaries called to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ  at Visitors Center's around the world for the past 6 months. It has been nothing short of amazing. I have realized a lot about who I am, and more especially who I want to be and become by learning from these wonderful missionaries and from sharing my understanding of Gospel truths with them. This past week, with the first Rose Runners  race and the 7 month mark since the best and the worst day of my life, a lot of pondering and thinking occurred. I thought about the accident. I thought about Madie. I thought about Taylor and how I thought I was going to lose him. I thought of his miraculous survival and his even more miraculous healing process and how he inspires others daily.  I thought of who we have become as a result of this trial. We are better, stronger, closer to each other and to our Father in Heaven, and have a completely different outlook on life.  So, back to the MTC. Yesterday, I had a couple of the sisters teach me as a "Visitor". These are always good experiences and so, of course, I was expecting nothing less than feeling inspired to change and to be better as a result of their teaching and our sharing.  They shared this video with me. 

I remembered when I had to be courageous. "You don't ever realize how strong you are until being strong is all you have left..."

Those words from that video rang so true to me as I remembered the crash... remember having no choice but to act and to act quickly. I knew Madie was gone, but Taylor... Taylor could live... I had to act. Courage.
I've never  thought of myself as a courageous person, but I don't think one thinks of themselves as courageous until, just like the above quote, you really have no other option but to have courage. In fact, I would say that a lot of my life has been spent thinking about things that I am NOT... I hate to even admit that here... but it is true. That thinking has changed. We are all children of God, and we are all a huge compilation of a lot of good things... When Taylor refers to the accident, he always says "Bailee saved my life." Each time he says it, I get chills down my spine because it seems crazy to think that I, with the help of the spirit and some serious guidance, did know exactly what to do to help him breathe, to help him live.  Was it courage?   Yes, I think it was.   I didn't freak out or give up or act weak. I was strong, capable, and I was not going to let him die.  And he didn't. He lived to tell this story and inspire others. He lived to help Madie live on in our hearts, minds, and sore muscles (Rose Runners for life) All the time people ask how I did that... how I handled that situation in the way that I did... "You don't ever realize how strong you are until being strong is all you have left..."
That pretty much sums it up.
I have to say, feeling strong, capable, courageous... definitely not words I used to use to describe myself... But now, I recognize that it is OK to feel strong, capable, and courageous.  I wish I could have saved Madie. I wish it so badly. Maybe Madie dying was an opportunity for a lot more people than just myself to show courage. She is giving us courage daily.  What is the point of this!? We can ALL show courage in our daily tasks, trials, demons, joys, happiness', struggles... all it takes it just deciding to believe that we are courageous. 
 

We don't need to wait until we are faced with a scary thing to show courage, we can show courage in our daily decisions, actions, and how we choose to face the trials that inevitably come in our path.  Courage. 

Doctrine & Covenants 122:7-8

 7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the ^apit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the ^bdeep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to ^chedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of ^dhell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee ^eexperience, and shall be for thy good.

 8 The ^aSon of Man hath ^bdescended below them all. Art thou greater than he?