May 7, 2013

Making friends with myself... creating a new culture

Me and my body have had quite the relationship over my 25+ years of living.
Guess what?
My body can do amazing things.
I ran 13.1 miles on Saturday.
I can walk, run, jump, dance, breathe, sing... the list goes on.
So why, for so long, have I continued to be harsh, unkind and not a good friend to this wonderful gift from my Heavenly Father which has been nothing but  a loving, kind, caring friend to me.

We have a meeting once a week at the MTC for the teachers. Today, the subject was "culture". We came to a conclusion that the word "Culture" was what was created by beliefs, routines, expectations, and standards driven by a community or group.

The actual definition: 


  [kuhl-cher]  Show IPA noun, verb, cul·tured,cul·tur·ing.
the quality in a person or society that arises from a concern forwhat is regarded as excellent in arts, letters, manners,scholarly pursuits, etc.
that which is excellent in the arts, manners, etc.
a particular form or stage of civilizationas that of a certainnation or period: Greek culture.
development or improvement of the mind by education ortraining.
the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social,ethnic, or age group: the youth culture; the drug culture.

Obviously, it was specific to the culture of the MTC, but we also delved into our own person cultures that have either been a part of us due to circumstance, upbringing, etc, and how they influence our every day thoughts, actions, and pursuits.
It really got me thinking...
What kind of culture do I have now, and what do I want to change about my own personal culture?
Before the tragic day of the accident, my culture was shallow. It wanted to be focused on important things but, because of this culture created by inner core beliefs about who I "should" be or what I "should" look like, had become completely focused on exactly what I didn't want it to be focused on: appearance.
After our world was turned upside down, habitually I have wanted and tried to go back to that familiar culture. To go back to "normal". The norm of always trying to be "skinny", of making my world revolve around that feat. But... I couldn't and I cant.
Because there is more to life than that, and God has been teaching me a hard lesson on the important things.
The culture must and will change. 

Madeline Rose Morris lived life the way we all should: focused on beauty and all good things. Her culture was and is of God. 
I know Madie wants us all to focus on that as well. Taylor has the same culture... They must have some pretty amazing parents, eh?  We can all learn from their example. 

I feel that the past 6 months I have learned more about what it means to be beautiful because of who I am, what I stand for, and who I have become through the experiences I have had, having nothing to do with my outer appearance. It is a liberating, freeing, and experience worthy of nothing short of a miracle. God has been involved, teaching me things about who I am little by little and through different people and experiences. What a magnificent blessing.

So, I am making friends with myself. Becoming reacquainted with this wonderful house in which I reside, through which I have been able to accomplish great things. My words are different towards this wonderful gift. My thoughts are changing, and my focus expanding. 

My body was strong enough to help Taylor survive. That is enough to make me feel that my body is perfect now. It is weird for me to even type those words. But deep down, I believe that.

My culture of who I am is changing and it will continue to change. Do I still feel a need to exercise and eat as healthy as possible (some days, it's just NOT possible, folks)? YES.
But WHY?
Not because there is something wrong with me or the way I look, but because my body is a gift from my loving Heavenly Father and I want to do my best to continue to do the things that He needs me to do. 

Can I get an amen?



  1. Beautiful and thought provoking... it is the very core of loving ourselves. Love you <3